5 Reasons My IVF Procedure is More Pro-Life than Your Abortion Rally
The Personhood Bill, HR586, states that a person’s life begins at fertilization. If passed, this federal bill would give equal human rights—personhood status—to microscopic embryos and fetuses. As a result, it could make IVF procedures illegal in the United States, since some embryos used during IVF could be “harmed” or discarded.
The sheer mention of this possibility leaves me with my panties in a bunch. It’s not just because I struggled with infertility and have two healthy babies through IVF. It’s also because it has become so clear to me that there are a lot of people out there who have absolutely no freaking idea what some women go through—both physically and emotionally—to actually create life—life that is, by the way, very much wanted.
Just three short years ago, my world looked a lot different. I was in the throes of infertility treatment. And as anyone who’s been there before knows, it sucks. But what sucks even more is when outsiders to that very personal infertility journey ask questions like this:
“So you’re going through IVF treatments? How do you feel about discarding fertilized eggs?”
“Oh, well, it’s really no big deal. I don’t feel any different than I did when I had my last abortion.”
Nothing like a little shock factor to shut up the ulterior-motive types (by the way, the above is most certainly an #alternativefact about me). But in all seriousness, this is a real question I received, not just from one person, but from SEVERAL. And here’s what I wish I could say to those people—those proponents of the Personhood Bill—who feel it’s their job to be some kind of self-righteous moral police over women’s bodies and choices (especially when many of them have never actually been in a situation that required these kinds of difficult decisions).
“Hope” by Stephanie Sarles / Creative Commons License
- Infertility is hard enough as it is. And IVF, well it’s a doozy! People of all shapes, sizes, races, and political and religious creeds struggle with infertility. And some are vehemently pro-life. I have met countless parents-to-be who have gone through the process of egg retrieval and fertilization who would never consider abortion an option, and some who may have previously considered discarding embryos unethical — until of course, they were put in that situation. So to the guy holding up his incredibly offensive sign telling me I’m going to hell, maybe you could actually take the time to care about and advocate for the lives of the women who are agonizing over these decisions. It’s not like we wake up in the morning all chipper and say, “Gee, I think I’ll have an abortion today,” or “Gee, I think I’d like to be diagnosed infertile!” No. Instead many of us are still grappling with the extreme trauma of rape, incest, lack of access to healthcare, miscarriage, genetic disorder, or rare health conditions that led us to this scary and complicated place. The actual “pro-life” thing to do would be to sit with these women and hear their stories or advocate for laws and programs that actually help these women, such as preventing the need for abortion through increased and affordable access to contraception and better sex education for vulnerable populations. By doing so, you’ll probably see abortions decrease by and large.
- Being pro-life should involve caring for ALL life, not just the lives of the unborn. This should also include providing, preserving, and improving quality of life for both the born and unborn. Don’t even get me started on how hypocritical the Republican party or Religious Right’s platform is on this area. But yeah, you go ahead and keep doing you. Don’t worry about all those refugees blocked at the border, black people shot by police, or the homeless dying in the streets.
- Here’s how the above line of thinking plays out when it comes to my IVF procedure. Had I decided not to undergo IVF, I may not have given birth to two beautiful, healthy children who have an extremely good chance at thriving. We can provide a healthy and financially and emotionally stable home for these children—a strong quality of life—which is not the case for all unborn fetuses. But nevermind that fact. What your Personhood Bill is basically telling me is that my wanted children, who I conceived, carried, and delivered because of IVF—their lives actually don’t matter. No. Instead, you think they should never even have had the chance to be born at all.
- Many people who undergo IVF have leftover embryos. And they are often able to impact countless others’ quality of life by donating them to stem cell research. This research is actually SAVING lives. Sounds pretty pro-life to me!
- Some people end up with a lot of leftover embryos—and by a lot I mean five, sometimes more. Hypothetically speaking, let’s say I had five embryos leftover—five over and above the twins I already have. Had I decided to transfer ALL of them into my body, I may have ended up with as many as SEVEN children. (Side note: because of the topic of this very article, and because conception should be a private matter, we’ve decided not to share if we have any leftover embryos, how many, or what our intentions would be for said embryos).
Erin Stevenson O’Connor / Creative Commons License
Hypothetically, these are seven children who wouldn’t have had the same quality of life compared to the two embryos we chose to transfer. We’d need to win the lottery to afford all that college tuition. And let’s not forget the environmental impact of that many American children (oh wait, science…alternative facts…).
While I’m not saying it’s necessarily wrong to have that many children (or maybe I might be, since we’re getting judgy?), financially and emotionally it is extremely difficult for the majority of families to raise that many children—ours included. Therefore, this option also seems extremely irresponsible, and dare I say unethical.
But none of that is really the point. The point is, this Personhood Bill actually threatens the potential for life. People who go through IVF are financially and emotionally ready to be parents. And based on the amount of needles these women have to stick in their body every day (yeah it’s like…a lot), it’s clear they are already fighting for their unborn children. In fact, I’d probably call this sheer act of self-mutilation in the name of procreation more pro-life than any action I’ve seen in the news or in person from “anti-abortion” protestors.
So while all of you who are “pro-life” might have the best of intentions, just remember, all of us infertile people are over here like, “All I want to do is have a freaking baby! And who are you to tell me their life doesn’t matter?”
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