Working Mom Math – Child A
Read each question thoroughly. Circle the best answer. Take notes of all conversations; you will need the proof for the health insurance claims. Good luck (with the test and the claim).
1. A new mother enters her 6-month-old baby’s pediatrician’s office and presents the elderly male doctor with an article from a medical journal, which she found on the internet. She asks whether the subject of the article, Eosinophilic (e-o-sin-o-FIL-ik) Esophagitis (chronic inflammatory disease of the esophagus), could be why her daughter is “failing to thrive” and projectile vomiting every time she drinks formula. The pediatrician responds:
a. “Let me take a look at that.”
b. “I don’t know this disease; let me look it up in The Merck Manual.”
c. “I’m referring her to a pediatric gastroenterologist for an endoscopy; the only way to diagnose EoE.”
d. Scoffing, he tosses the article aside, saying: “I know this disease; it’s very rare and she doesn’t have it.”
2. The same new mother brings her now 1-year-old toddler to every pediatric allergist in San Francisco (all of whom are male). She asks why Child A continues to throw up and is falling off the growth chart. The response is:
a. “Abby’s allergic to 50+ foods; here’s a list, good luck.”
b. “Get rid of your cats.” To which the mother responds: “She’s not eating the cats.”
c. “She drank milk-based formula while you breast-fed; she was fine – she can’t be allergic to milk.”
d. “Of course she’s gonna be on the small side for her age; what did you expect marrying such a short guy?”
e. All of the above.
3. True/False:
Becoming increasingly worried, the now not-so-new mother asks a law school friend’s father, a gastroenterologist, for a second opinion. After reviewing the stack of medical records, he diagnoses Child A with EoE. The child’s father replies: “That is exactly what Karen told the pediatrician years ago,” to which the doctor responds: “Of course she did; she’s a lawyer. She did the research.”
4. After the mother fires the first pediatrician, the new younger, female pediatrician assembles a “comprehensive care team” of allergists, gastroenterologists, and dieticians to coordinate the care of Child A. What is the ratio of the amount of time the mother versus the father takes A to appointments? (Note: both parents work full-time as lawyers.)
a. 50:50
b. 75:25
c. 90:10
d. As the “Primary Caregiver” or “PC” (a nickname foisted upon the wife by her husband), the mother handles 99.9% of the care-giving responsibilities and 100% of the blame when missteps inevitably occur.
Bonus Question
True/False:
As the PC, the mother contemplates quitting her job as an attorney to care for her daughter full-time.
5. Before Child A starts pre-school, the mother informs her teachers that A is anaphylactic to milk and wheat and therefore will bring her own snack and lunch. How long after A starts pre-school does it take a teacher to offer her cheese cubes and wheat crackers?
a. One month.
b. One week.
c. One day.
d. One hour.
e. Ten minutes, at which point the mother is still in the classroom and hears her almost 3-year-old child respond, “No thank you, I’m allergic.”
6. There’s an unwritten kid-law that pizza is served at every kid-centered school/sports/birthday party. Because the mother works full-time and many of the events happen during the weekday, she criss-crosses the city multiple times a month to bring food to Child A so she doesn’t feel left out. If the mother’s office is in downtown San Francisco and the event is 3 miles away, how long does it take her to pick up food, drop it off, and sneak back into the office before anyone sees her?
a. No time; she never even tries.
b. No time; she outsources the delivery to a third party.
c. 1½ hours and she always gets caught.
d. Because she believes she can “have it all” only if she tries to “do it all,” she makes the round trip in 35 minutes, delivering sushi/tacos/Sopa de Pollo to Abby, who is over-the-moon to see her during the school day, then eats at her desk while pretending she worked through lunch, all the while thinking how she is failing at everything.
About the Author
Karen Hindin has been a litigator for 30+ years and just recently started the mid-life career shift from law to writing. She is currently working on her memoir (don’t tell her parents and sisters). She lives in San Francisco with her husband (whom she met in law school a million years ago) and supports two adult-ish college-aged kiddos. She has previously published in Allium, A Journal of Poetry and Prose and on her Substack https://substack.com/@sflawyermomwriter.
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