99 Problems

Published on March 1st, 2017 | by Tara Calihman


An Open Letter to Those Commenting on the STATE OF MY UTERUS

Dear cafe owner who came over to the booth I was sitting in with my son and asked where his sister was, insisting that he needed a sister and not content to let us eat our breakfast in peace…

Dear woman on the playground who seemed very friendly until she became adamant that my son would be missing out if he didn’t have a sibling and then proceeded to tell me that I just had to get on the procreation stat for the sake of my son…

Dear extended family member on my husband’s side that I only see once a year who promised me that having three kids wasn’t that much more work than having one and warned me not to wait too much longer to have another one…

Dear friend of a friend at a party who told me how she thought that only having one child was selfish and that I was putting my son in danger of not knowing how to interact with others…

Dear office co-worker who mentioned in passing that having just one child was easy and that if I really wanted to be considered a true parent, I must have another child…

Dear well-meaning person on the subway who told my husband and I that we made a beautiful son and we should really consider giving him a sibling…

Dear Facebook commenter who wrote under a picture of my son asking when the next one was coming and then drove the point home by ending that question with a winking eye emoticon…

Fuck you all. You have no idea what I’ve been through. It’s interesting that you thought I would remotely care or want to know your opinion on my only having one child, but in the future, if you could keep your feelings about my reproductive abilities to yourself, that would be greatly appreciated.

Happy Wednesday!



“Nope” by potential past / Creative Commons License

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About the Author

Tara is a recovering stand up comic and aspiring writer, seeking the funny wherever she can find it. She’s currently living with her mother-in-law in the Bronx while patiently waiting for her Irish work visa to be approved. Not a joking matter. You can see more of her here and on Twitter.

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