99 Problems

Published on December 2nd, 2015 | by Lisa Lim
























Really, the number one thing to know about the “baby blues?” If your blues are severe, ask for help and evaluate whether you are in fact experiencing post-partum depression. For me, what felt like “baby blues” at first evolved into PPD. Crying fits, an overwhelming sadness, sleeplessness, among other symptoms was just a small slice of my experience for many, many months. My symptoms got so bad, it led me to seek out therapy. Therapy didn’t help. Then I turned to my general practitioner who told me that with birth came a severe drop in estrogen which was causing my PPD. She told me my body was actually experiencing several symptoms of menopause—hair loss, sadness, anxiety, mood swings . . .

Mommyhood was the best and worst thing I could ever have imagined. It was a roller coaster ride filled with highs and many unspoken lows. Sure, there were many highs—listening to his precious coos and squeaks, catching his split-second smiles, going on dates and laughing all night about how our son looked like Burgess Meredith from Rocky, and of course the many hours of skin to skin. But I’m not going to lie, there were also many lows which are hard to share and admit to even myself. But here goes.

The lows—listening to his midnight squeaks which undoubtedly led to fitful crying, being so tired the thought of showering and eating became overwhelming, counting the seconds to the dreaded pumping hour, then counting the seconds to the breastfeeding hour when his face wriggled in horror over my breast being unlatchable, losing half my hair and forgetting to comb the little hair I did have left because I was so damn tired, feeling guilty and ashamed when I’d hear how happy and content other newborn moms were, feeling as if I was failing as a mother despite the herculean effort to survive. Yes, motherhood was amazing, but postpartum depression sucked big time for a long time.

To never forget my newborn mom experience, I documented as much as I could through comics as a way of healing and expression. I want to tell every woman in the world that it’s okay to be tired and sad and not be the always happy mom every one makes motherhood out to be. Postpartum depression is real and it can make you feel less than, when really you should get a medal. Many medals. Here’s to every mom in the world who has the strength to be a mom, tired or not. We see you. We hear you. We feel you.

To see more about the funny, dark side of Mommyhood, check out lisalimcomics.com.

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About the Author

Lisa Lim is a comic storyteller born and raised in Queens, New York. Her work has been featured in Guernica, PANK, The Rumpus, PEN America, and Mutha Magazine. Her short illustrated story, “The Hunger” was featured in an anthology edited by Joyce Carol Oates, Cutting Edge: New Stories of Mystery and Crime by Women Writers. Find more of her storytelling here.

2 Responses to 10 THINGS MOMS DON’T TELL YOU ABOUT THE BABY BLUES: A Comic by Lisa Lim

  1. Sarah says:

    Thank you Lisa for saying what so many new moms hide with a smile, I’m right there with you on all of these, please know that you made one sad mom smile with your brilliant work Xx

    • Lisa Lim says:

      Hi Sarah, am happy my piece made you smile. For me, seeing the absurd comedy in what was at the time so painful helped me immensely. Keep being the awesome mom you are! And know that so many of us moms understand what you’re going through. Hugs, Lisa

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