POEMS by EVE
Two Week Wait
It starts the minute you’ve finished
breath still moving fast
cunt pulsing.
The hope:
This time it will happen.
This time it will take.
This time will be the last time –
you will move on to bigger worries,
buying car seats,
paying for childcare,
where to put the crib.
It doesn’t stop there.
Days later you’re counting:
the months to discover
the hypothetical being
would be an Aries or a Taurus,
calculating how a theoretical birth
might overlap with Jewish holidays
or summer vacation.
You’re watching pregnant co-workers
Dreading seeing the pictures
evidence of what they have accomplished
Wondering how you’ll make the announcement
Wondering how you’ll tell clients.
You carefully avoid beer
sushi caffeine artificial
sweeteners ibuprofen hot tubs
happy to be exempt from changing cat litter
hoping your diligence will be rewarded.
By the time two weeks have gone by
you’ve almost started to believe
it could happen
it could be true
But you buy tampons
just in case.
The Moment at Whole Foods When I Realized I’m a Mother
I’m wandering the tofu and fake meat section
when the announcement comes:
“Will Eve Lyons please come to the information desk?”
In panic I push through shopping carts and yuppies,
already envisioning a rush to the ER.
Sure something is terribly wrong with our two month old son,
why else interrupt my weekly grocery shopping,
what could be so important that it can’t wait till I am home –
only to get the news:
Our vegetable peeler broke.
I’m confused at first,
unsure why this required paging me.
I put it together eventually –
No vegetable peeler means no carrot salad,
which changes our dinner plans for tonight,
the Sunday night of all Sunday nights,
since tomorrow I go back to work,
leaving our son for six long hours.
Relieved, I pick up a peeler,
go home to my spouse and child,
prepare for a lifetime more
of moments like these.
Things We Can Learn From Newborns
Babies live in the moment,
our mohel told us
just before she made the ceremonial cut
Now the moment is passed.
Time has a different meaning
when you are a newborn,
when you are with a newborn.
Things that used to take five minutes
now take thirty.
You can be sobbing uncontrollably,
soothed and comforted a minute later.
When you’re hungry,
you eat.
You scream
until someone feeds you.
When you’re cold
from the bath or the breeze
you wrinkle up your nose
or whimper.
When you’re uncomfortable,
you stretch and wiggle.
When you need to fart or burp
you let it out.
It’s not good to hold these things in.
You wail when we clean your butt
or when we don’t feed you fast enough
But you hold no grudges
once we’ve made our amends.
It’s good to be loved
It’s good to be wanted
It’s good to be held.